"here's to you Mrs. Robinson....you are a cradle robber"

Hey y'all.I'm just sitting down at the computer listening to some music from the 1980's.Not the best stuff,but it is kind of like every memory of being a kid has one of these damn songs attached to it.It is like I can't remember my existance without a song.Weird,huh? Yeah,I'm not your average person.

I have been a bit nervous lately,and all the klonapin in the world can't stop my leg from bouncing up and down.

One reason is because I will be signing up for a college class.I always hated school.I believe I might have mentioned the class in a previous post.I have to prove myself dateable.

The biggest thing is my birthday.It's on the 19th of this month and ...well...I'm terrified. I will be the big 30.I feel like I have nothing to show for my life.Granted things I have been through,I feel like I should have some things already accomplished.

It's gonna be another unhappy lonely birthday....I wish I could get a birthday kiss from "Al"

I am still waiting for my first real kiss! I got 2 very unwanted uncomfortable ones,from 2 horrible creepy slimballs who tryed to force themselves on me.I think it made me scared of guys for awhile.Now I'm an old bag who is in love with a younger,wonderful,adorable man...who does not look like he will be mine to soon.I figured out that technically we are not 4 years apart its more like 3 years,8 months,2 weeks,5 days..If I could do hours and seconds I might.lol.But for real....I know he is the one I will love forever and want to spend my life with.This sucks so bad.I want to just pour out all of this love on him,but I need him to give me a sign.I just don't want to be blogging at the age of 35 with the same problem.Life is hard.I am so sick of rules and excuses...I just want to be able to love who I love without fear of judgement or awkwardness.