it seems to hard to hang on,I'm dangling over a giant cliff !

Okay,so it's already the 17th and I have been in unfortunate countdown mode for about 10 days now.The year is almost over,my 20's are almost over and my life is going no where.

my 2nd birthday

I am pretty much in a low.I am listening to some crap from when I was a kid and it's making me feel pretty empty.Perhaps I enjoy the pain in a way,I guess I am comfortable with the comfortable.It's something I know and easier to retreat to.I HATE my f***ing life!
The one precious thing is the one thing I can not have...and it is wearing me down.It is getting harder and harder to press through the day.I sometimes think I don't have any fight left in me and that I am to weak to keep keepin' on.
I would feel complete if I had "Al".

Should a person ever really feel complete? Is happiness truely achievable? Perhaps it is just a myth.If we don't have hope life seems meaningless.If I give up then I guess I really will have no meaning.I have to either hang on to the end of this proverbial rope or just use it to hang myself with.Time keeps ticking on,my flesh gets older but my mind is stuck at the intersection of highway 16 years old and 25.