As the snow covered wonderland melts outside,I find myself feeling like the snow.Once so high,fluffy,and sparkly.Now just melty,dirty,and dull.I am in a funk.Now hoping that this year is a better one.Although 2010 did bring Al into my life.That was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.I believe it was sometime between the 4th and 8th of January 2010.It was the best because I found out what it feels like to love someone for real.Enough to be willing to lay down my life for,and the worst obviously because I never got a bit of love back.
I'm not really a fan of the whole new year resolution thing,but I have made a promise to myself.I have had a change of heart.Instead of being so willing to change myself to earn someones love,I have decided to be myself.That person who was locked in that chest that I mentioned in one of my first posts.I think I am slowly finding her.I know that life is short.No time to get hung up with oppressive titles and technicalities.I want to be firm yet caring,look at Al and say to him that that stuff does not make someone truely happy.I'm a woman,he is a man and I am very attracted to him.A conversation not overlorded by his title or my differences.Just him me and realness.
My love may be unrequited.I may desire to rip the face off of the bitch he is with.I so totally could go for punching her in her homely looking rat squinty eyed face.SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SWEET that would be!
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