Gotta give the man I refer to a name....how about we call him Al !

What the hell could I have done to merit this? I am being ignored to the fullest.I hate the whole "I'm not returning your calls and acting like you are not in existance" thing.
This begs the question..."What did I do?????"

Okay so here I am.Needing a ear to listen to me. "Al" is kinda bound to answer me.He does get paid to "mentor" me.I thought that would be what we call it.Also I love Paul Simon music,thats why I am calling him Al.

So My mentor is supposed to help me with my emotional thingy's so I thought.He is supposed to link me with programs and try to push me toward my goal.Maybe the ignoring is how he is doing it now?
I have left him messages and still nothing.I also am wondering why he told me he would not be at work this week....and I find out he is.I think I might be to much for this dude to handle.To make up a faux vacation...soooooo NOT COOL dude!   ( Paul Simon Video in next post)

I thought I would fill in the blanks on some topics I left sorta half a** complete.

On a recent post I mention my brother who is almost 11 years my junior.The fight we had before he left for California was epic.Not epic good mind you...but worthy of a Jerry Springer show.
I found out that he had been secretly dating someone behind the family's back.No problem there.Until I find out she is 11 !/2 years his senior and they have been hooking up since he was 12 !
It sounded like one of those teacher student type sick things.Turns out he was going cross country to be with this cradle robber.I freaked out about how calm my parents took it.All I could see was a little boy with a chick older then me.That means when they began there relationship she was in her 20's.How can a woman see a child in a romantic way like that? It was way to twisted and I started yelling at him.Why oh why did I do this...it earned me a punch in the mouth and a push in the wall.
That is what our not leaving on good terms thing was.Also the reason he gained so much pleasure causing me pain with that tat.That "Mary kay Letourneau "wanna be called him in the mist of the tattoo process.I knew she wanted him to make it hurt because I called her a bitch and a pedophile.I heard them laughing on the phone about it later on.
Why do I care?

Well even though my family is unreliable,greedy and mean....they are still blood.

I dont know why I try.I know they wont change.

Maybe I love Al because I don't believe I deserve anyone who will love me back.That I am programmed to live in servitude type mode...............................

No

Although it is like me to self torment,my feelings for Al are true.I really do love him,and I probrobly should also stop thinking my family will change.

ohhhhhhhhhhh the tangeled web we weave!

Blog ya later!